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The Fringe Made Me Do It!

Have you ever experienced a change in how you feel about yourself on the inside that was triggered solely by a change in how you see yourself on the outside? I have had this happen to me recently after a disastrous haircut. Thankfully after having a shocking experience with a terrible haircut at the tender age of 16 (OMG, I am soooo ugly I am going to die! My friends aren't going to speak to me anymore, my boyfriend is going to dump me - the whole Henny Penny sha-bang), I am now old enough and wise enough to realise that there is only 2 weeks between a good haircut and a bad one. 

So I took a photo for the album (ensuring I pulled the most deadpan unimpressed face for maximum impact) and promptly moved on fully prepared to hate my reflection on sight for the next two weeks. After many complements on the new haircut I examined why I was so vehemently aggravated by it. I realised that it hillarysis reminiscent of my haircut as a child. I have done a lot of personal development since my childhood and I really thought I had come to terms with most of my hang ups from back then so I was a little bit surprised by my intense negative reaction. I am a strong woman now - seriously tough. I have had to be, life has thrown a lot of crap my way (yep even worse than the above mentioned haircut). However when I was child (and teenager and early adult) I was very insecure, very shy and I didn't like myself very much. 

I spent the majority of my childhood feeling as though I didn't belong, that I wasn't good enough and that I never would be and of course that it was all my fault. It has been a long journey from that to where I am today. I am proud of who I am now, I genuinely love myself and I am in a really good place. I am more confident now in my 30's than I have ever been before. I am not as fun as I used to be (thanks to my mum life), I am not as thin or as sexy as I used to be (thanks again mum life), but boy am I happier! I know who I am and I am ok with the person that stares back at me in the mirror each day, we are mates. So it was a bit of a shock to feel so negatively about my reflection and realise that it wasn't just the haircut. I may love the woman that I am today, but I have to learn to love the little girl. She's still in there and she may be scared and sad and lonely and encompass all of the things that I didn't like about myself back then but she is as much a part of me as the woman I am now. 

So here I am again, beginning a journey to self acceptance and self love. I am grateful that I have my oils to help support me emotionally along the way. I have done some research today and found that Bergamot and Fennel and excellent for self acceptance and self confidence. Fennel is actually being delivered to me today as it was this months product of the month for dōTERRA - coincidence? Have you ever had something shake your self confidence completely out of the blue?  


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